Wait Upon the Lord

Wait Upon the Lord
by Emily Matthews

Waiting is the hardest
when we feel our need is great,
But it helps if we remember
that our God is never late.
He knows our deepest longings.
and He times things perfectly.
For in His love, He only does
what's best for you and me.

Waiting... in this fast-paced world... waiting sure is not easy.
We want what we want NOW! ASAP! If we don't get it, we feel all sorts of negative emotions, like disappointment, sadness, anger, vexation, and the like... BUT WHY? Why can't we be patient and wait... Is there anything wrong with waiting??? Why do we all have this mindset that we hate to wait, when in fact, waiting is better than hurrying things up or rushing things?

Lately, I have experienced something that has really tested me and my faith...
In the past, I have experienced surrendering to God my studies, my pride, my anger, my family, my friends, my weaknesses, and even strengths... yet there has always been one big struggle of surrender in my life and that is my heart... In a past relationship, God has told me to surrender and to let go... it was one of the toughest decisions I had ever made in my life... because it was definitely not an easy thing to do... however, due to that obedience, I have discovered much blessings... a better and stronger relationship with my bestfriend, and with the Lord. I also have learned so much from that experience of surrender... I learned to value people, to be content, and to love... to truly love and what it means to love...

Love is not about expectations. It is not about getting what you want or satisfying yourself. It is a wonderful and precious gift you give without expectations. You love because you want to love. It is a committed choice. You love not because you expect your love to be reciprocated. In the same way you give without expecting anything in return. That is love.

After some time, I was able to show this kind of love... I have finally learned to love... everything is going so well... but then God told me to do something... something so difficult... God told me to wait... I want to love that person so much right now... I am overflowing with this love for that person that I just want to love... But God told me to stop, and to wait. If you were in my situation, what would you do?!?

I have to struggle with myself for some time... but I know deep inside that in the end I have to follow God because I know that He knows what is best for me... But IT IS SO DIFFICULT! I WANT IT SO MUCH NOW!!! These past few days, I was so happy loving that person... and being loved in return... but I know that we have to surrender everything to God... Soon... as in right that very moment...

No beginnings are easy... It is not easy to let go of things that that so important to you... especially if you have really love them... Now God has told me to surrender the one I love to Him... That sure is not easy to do especially if everything is like a dream come true and there is really no problem except that God wants you to surrender it to Him because He wants you to WAIT...

I love God more than anything else... above all else... I seek to do His will... and now there is this one thing that am holding so close and wanting so much for myself... and because of this I know that God wants me to surrender it to Him so that He may take the lead in this matter... This is what I want also yet in spite of that, it is not easy to give it up to Him... Trusting something to God in all other aspects has been easy for me... but when it comes to this thing... when I do not know what will happen in the future.... I really had a difficult time... I trust God... but I know that there is fear in my heart that I will lose this very important person in my life if I give him up to God... Fears like - if we wait maybe someday our feelings for each othere would have changed... nevertheless... I still desire God above all else... I know that whatever happens I can never turn my back on my God... It has been my commitment to Him ever since long ago... I will not back down on my principles... I will stand up for my God... I know He loves me and wants only the best for me... that is why He is asking this from me... He knows what is in my heart... He knows my deepest longings and desires... And I know He takes all of these in considerations... He values them and gives importance to each detail... that is why I know in spite of my fears, I know I can trust Him... I see only the present, yet His ways are higher than my own... He sees the future... I know He has a big and wonderful plan for me... and so much more blessings ahead especially if I surrender this to Him...

At that moment, i felt like I was Abraham... God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac to Him... Abraham loved Isaac but He loved God above all else... so even if it hurts... even if it is not the easiest thing to do... Abraham did it because he loved that Lord with all his heart and desired to do what God's will is... In the end, God blessed him... for in obedience there is so much blessings...

Owkay... so I know what I have to do... and so I did it for my God! I told the guy that we had to wait on the Lord... as in WAIT... we can only be friends for now... bestfriends... At first he was depressed but then I found his response later as the best expression of love he has ever shown to me... He is willing to wait... because I am worth waiting for... and that He too wants to do what God wants for both of us... He is going to keep on praying for me... asking for me from the Lord... He is going to wait for me... [awwwwwwwwwwww......]

I realized something myself... I love this person so much... and I want everything to work out perfectly... and the only way for that to happen is if I will commit everything to God... for His plans and ways are perfect... Because I love this person so much, I will wait for him too... I will surrender him to God... because I love him that much... He is that important to me... that I want everything to be super ok not only now but more importantly in the future... I will wait for Him in the Lord, I will continue to pray for him in the Lord... If it is God's will that we really are going to be for each other then great, Hallelujah... that would be so wonderful! if not then we really are not for each other and it is still good that we waited at least there would be less hurts. Whatever it may be... May the Lord's will be done! Amen...

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

In HIS PERFECT TIME... He will give me the desires of my heart... I seek YOUR will above all else. I surrender to You and commit to You once again all that I am... I will live my life for You... I trust You Lord... May Your will be my will... May Your will be done... AMEN!